A new defination of..

It's always good to priortise things in life...and even people if you ask me..!That ways you become less susceptible.But what to do wen this backfires..? What if these people dun priortise you in return?!..Prudent or imprudent..they'll end up hurting you in someways.
I am a human,someone who doesn't aim/claim to be morally correct(not always),someone who doesn't believe in utopia of life.So for a while,let me speak for some of you out there..There is nothing as unconditional on this planet..especially love,no form of it.When you love someone, the least you expect,is warmth , some sort of gesture, if nothing more, atleast some sort of recognition or respect for ur Feelings (c'mon even an animal wud want that..it's in our nature..can not deny that..!). Well! that is the case..most of the time.
Has it ever occured to you..that sometimes, the real essence of love lies in not expressing it at all, but in just comprehending the signs .Yeah! the chase that is meant to last till eternity.Or lets take it to extreme..far extreme..ever tried to relate love and animosity...?!Too ironic rite? Ever tried falling for the one you detest the most..?! No..I'm not talking about the way they show it in Bollywood muvies whr the girl first detests the guy and ends up falling for him.I am talking about hatred,pure hatred..for every cell,for every drop of blood..to a degree that makes you want tear that person apart..an urge to destroy that person..completely.!!To kill him so that no one can ever posess him again..coz you are the only one who knows the actual worth..of what he can contribute..of what he can take away and of what he can destroy. B'coz no one but you have the idea of power he posess..How desultory or flighty it may seem..but the experience will be esctatic..larger than life.! the best that one can think of in such a situation..is not to let the two unite..ever..! Coz that wud spell havoc. Explosion you mite expect..the kind of that leads to extinction..explosion...yeah!
Ever witnessed a supernova explosion?..It's beautiful..more beautiful than anything you can witness in your entire lifetime.That marks the end of a life..or a star..and a birth of one as well..(Ironic..I knw..!)..radiates more energy in a fraction of second than the sun can in its entire lifetime.Yupp..!! thats the worth..thats the worth of such people who can posess such extreme emotions and dare to do something about that. Such an explosion leads to extinction..And that is what they deserve..coz of poor ones like you and me.. coz we are not exemplary..! Coz we will antagonise anything that goes against the grain..Pity U..
Cheers
Nivedita

It's all about the Pace..!!

Has there ever been anything that has not been /can not be replaced..? Take a look around you and you you'll have the answer..!How badly u want to make yourself take NO as the Answer. No,Trust me I won't thwart that.It means a great deal to be able to accomodate.An endowment indeed.Infact that's the best that you can do to Dead..or even Living for that matter..like yourself..!( Sorry about the crude manner I decided to quote it in).So..! consider that a talent..something to be appreciated..!But how upheld is that and to what degree??! I may not be the best person to confute..Coz call it prudent or in haste,I too have gone for substitution-be it material or people.
It hurts to know that you were delinquent,but the heart bleeds to realize.And mind it!..there's a difference between knowing and realizing,everybody knew that an apple falls but it was Newton who realized and thus raised the question-why it only falls down and that made all the difference.Hence realization is the first step,but towards death in the context I'm referring to,coz it kills when you are at the receiving end..to realize that it's your turn now,turn to be replaced.But in the end it's all transitory right? You replace people and people replace you..all a fair game.!! but what makes THE difference in here is the pace,the pace at which substitution takes place. The faster the pace,the more worthless you are..! (chill! I didn't have a breakup..!! :p!..just a thought..!)But then again,there's a law in Economics (Yeah!..Economics for engineers taking a toll on me..!),which states that commodities are imperfect substitutes.:-).Rudimentary can not be replace completely or forever.
So here I go again,back to square one.I detest optimistic people,they seem escapist to me.But yeah! it's a nice feeling to state this law to urself once in a while(makes you pity the fools out there who dared to replace you..!) But the truth remains,some of you out there are significant..thus i wish never get substituted...
\m/
Nivedita

Turning back time..!

Welcome to d real world ,she said to me condescendingly..Take a seat,take ur life,plot it out in black and white…Well I never lived the dream of the prom kings and d drama queens..I’d like to think of d best of me..Still hiding up my sleeve..I wanna run thru the halls of my schul..I wanna scram at the top of my lungs..I just found out thr’s no such thing as d real world..Just a lie u’ve got to rise above..!
Well,cudn’t think of a better way to put my feelings into words..that is exactly what past 1.5 year has been for me like..in this so called "real" world. And ppl looked so beautiful tht night...More beautiful thn ever.I very Strongly believe A woman isn’t worth the name unless her hair is flecked with a strand or 2 of silver.A man is but a callow youth unless u can really c his foread..I mean unless u can actually distinguish it frm d rest of d face.!And the round ones there-they looked so cute in tht shapeless shape..!For those who have no clue what I'm talking about,It's my school reunion.It wasn’t long back wen I left the bulding. It wasn long back wen I kept my uniform in some corner of my cupboard to lie thr safe.. forever,But It was almost 15 years back..wen I crossed that threshold for d first time.And between tht first and last time..Thr was a lifetime.Moments that are bound to last till eternity..memories tht I’ll carry with my to my grave.There were so many out there tht night who are still amongst my closest ones,ppl I still see often but never often enough.Values tht now I hold so dear..and the most intimate,precious and lasting friendships of my life.May I confess how I prepared for it..??!I pulled down all the school magazines from top shelf and just flipped thru d pages.A test for me indeed..To see how many instances cud I recall.And did I flunk?...Partially yes..!
But gradually trickle of memories became a river,immersing me in a flood of recollections..all pleasnt ones..time has mercifully erased any unpleasant one..It was like retuning to the womb..!!To ur almamater.
Those were the days,we were all beautiful,all wonderful, but we weren't real! No one was real,this world wasn't real!Too easy it was,too uncomplicated.Hell lot of issues out there but we never needed to care about them.There must have been poverty too but we were too busy in hiding that hole in our show to see through it.Ofcourse there was violence too but we were busy cheering for our basketball team..lol. Man! time flies and how..!Now when I'm a part of this "real" world(not completely yet!) it seems to be a bit of a nasty place at times.At one point of time,those 14 years seemed like a sentence for a crime I never got the chance to commit.;-) and now how badly I want to be a prisoner again..! sigh! At times I still crave for those 30 mins. of recess,for teacher to leave the class (so that we get to hit each other with chalk),to sit on those rusted benches in that discoloured classroom..:-(
Got to live my ultimate fantacy on the night of reunion.Turning to people 10 yrs older to me and sharing my experiences with them is something I'll always cherish.Some of them were shocked out of their wits as I was just a toddler(well..almost..!) when they left the school and every instance related to them was just so crystal clear in my mind.Aah..! people who always inspired me and even now never fail to do that.Little eyes that used to stare at them from some part of the playground,the mind and the heart that always aspired to be like them..is one of them now.Though haven't achieved much in my life as of now but some corner of my heart still wishes.. I manage to do to others, some of what they managed to do to me. :-)Heaven!So many pleasant memories and all flooding back to me. Someone was right! We leterary people are(in a way ) emotional fools.We strive on memories, our all time favourite drug.At d end of it, that is all we got when there is nothing to hold on to..!
Cheers..!
Nivedita