My First Revenge ;)

An intelligent fellow said in 19^th century “Revenge is a dish which people of taste prefer to eat cold”.(they are still looking for the person who said it) Take a look at Wikipedia’s Revenge page if you dun believe me.

For many out there the policy of “Forgive and forget” doesn’t work and we Pauls know how to work our way out in such situations.

In the 20 years of my life I’ve had my share of revenges (smthing tht I’m more thn satisfied with). I’ve always believed in starting early, it all began for me when I was in standard second when somebody stole my scented banana erasers. Let me tell you they meant a world to me as my uncle got it for me from Singapore. What made it more precious was that the scented eraser was a huge hit in the class. I still regret not listening to my mum.

As luck would have it, I lost the eraser within a week. An average 7 years old girl would have suspected the whole world to be the thief. But No! Not me!..We Pauls know our enemies the moment we see them so I zeroed on my classmate Ameeta Gupta. The reason being.. my scented banana shaped eraser had dethroned her Mickey mouse shaped eraser. Back then I didn’t know that revenge was a dish best served cold.. I decided to act the same day.

Like only CIA can do, I laid out my plans. Stealing her Mickey Mouse erasers didn’t sounds like a good idea as that would have made me the prime suspect. I couldn’t cut her eraser into two coz the entire class knew tht I was the only one to carry a Topaz blade in my geometry box. I wanted to draw mustaches on her Mickey mouse erasers but I did not have a permanent sketch pen.

After days of thinking, my plan was devised . On the D-day, when Ameeta wasn’t around, I stole the eraser but left the Mickey mouse container intact to gove her the false impression that she still had her eraser with her.

The moment I stole the eraser I placed it under my armpits so tht it lost its scent. With time , I realized tht the eraser needed a bit of the cello-tape if tht had to stay thr for long.I had to steal my class teacher’s cello tape for this.(I’m not a born thief, I do it only for revengeful purposes, so I returnd the cello-tape after the purpose was fulfilled).

After having the eraser in my armpit for 24 hrs, I placed it back in the mickey mouse container. For days after that, Ameeta went around telling people that her scented eraser didn’t amell that good anymore . I just smiled.

After more than 12 years now, I’m planning my biggest revenge against someone who’s been giving me nightmares for almost a week (Those of you who’ve guessed who it is! Keep shut!). Unfortunately I’m still working out the plan so.. it will be ready for public consumption once it gets successfully implemented.

Going Nocturnal

Forcing yourself to get up early in the morning is pointless- I keep on telling her. I’m not sure if I say this coz I actually DO feel strongly about this or do I say this coz I’d die for the look on my mother’s face when she hears me say “Good Morning” at 1 in the afternoon. “It ain’t Christmas or my birthday Ma!” and she gives me the look I find too amusing to resist.
Search Amazon and you have nearly 7000 book results on early rising. Google it and you get more than 69 Lac links. The number of articles written, bullet points given on this topic – countless. Well, if I throw some light on methods to get up early -they vary from creative to mundane.
Some of the funniest that I came across were:
>>Before retiring to bed have 2-3 glasses of water, your bladder will wake you up as early as 4 or 5.
>>Set any Metallica song as your alarm, it’ll work like a charm.
>>Give sonic Bomb alarm clock with Bed Shaker a chance, this alarm clock will wake you up in less than 5 sec. It’s louder than a jackhammer. If 113 decibels isn’t loud enough for you, you’d find this one even better- Screaming meanie 120 db alarm clock. (If u’re interested in buying one of these, drop me a mail)
Though my favorite is the one in which they suggest putting an alarm clock in your roomie’s underwear.Try , it works!
I can’t understand why I need to get up early in first place? What have I got to prove? If getting up early in the morning for walk or yoga is giving me sleepless nights, then the purpose doesn’t get fulfilled anyway.
Going for walk in the night instead at least prevents me from the hideous sight of pile of garbage lying down the street.
So here’s a part of my thesis on why you should get up late and not feel guilty the next time you come across an article or some book on early rising.
Reasons for Going Nocturnal!
1.Those who say that you save time by getting up early should read this– Each day you have 24 hrs, if you sleep for 6 hrs, you have 18 hrs left to do rest of your stuff, irrespective of when you sleep and when you wake up.
2.Toiling the night away while the rest of the world is peacefully asleep is such a beautiful feeling. So still and quiet (while your noisy neighbor is still asleep).
3.That look of the city bathed in yellow from your bedroom window at 3 in the morning is so serene. I would not miss the sight for anything.
4.There are few things on this earth as surreal as a late night jog through an otherwise crowded place. Go for a walk at 1 in the morning and you’ll know what I’m talking about. That is when I get the best of ideas.
5.If you think getting up early is natural, think again. It was perhaps 100 years ago that it made sense when sunlight was the only source of light and you had to get your work done during the daylight. (If you are reading this, your home/office has electricity!).
6.See, to get up early, you’ll need to sleep early; if you sleep early you miss out on all the exciting stuff that happen late night. If you know after having your dinner at 9.30 that you still have 3-4 hrs for leisure, it just opens up so many possibilities! Early to bed early to rise makes a man/woman miss out on the night life.;-)
7.Some of the best meals I’ve had have been the late night snacks. If you haven’t had Maggie at 3 in the morning after hours of slogging with books then you’ve been really missing out on something.
8.It has been scientifically proved that you are at your productive best when you work late at night. (Okay, not scientifically proved yet! but it will be! soon!). No distractions, no noise, no newspaper headlines to read. When you know that there’s nothing else between now and sleeping time except what you are working on, it’s like a time bomb ticking, so you are faster and more efficient.
9.If you’d sleep late, you’ll obviously get up late and that can be very very effective because you’ll do the boring/usual/essential stuff very quickly indeed. Helps you realize how good you can be in doing certain things certain way. Ever realized how much fun it is to get ready in a hurry?
10.Last but not the least- you end your day feeling content and happy that you did something meaningful and that too by burning the mid night oil. (Aah! I can already feel it!)
Cutting the long story short, getting up early might work for many but it ain’t my cup of tea. Getting up early should be preference issue and not a rule. So if next time somebody advices you to be an early bird, tell ‘em to Get a Life!

One night @ the graveyard..!!

I’ve been reading quite a lot about vampires these days. So much that they are all over my mind all the time. So whether this incidence happened for real or not, is something even I’m not sure of. One thing I would like to tell you before you read any further…vampires are not really as mean and violent and not even remotely as seductive as we make them out to be and vegetarianism is an “in” thing among vampires these days.It happened a few months back. I was coming home from a friend’s place and it was really late. I didn’t have any other mode of transport except my lovely Scooty. So I hit the road. It had totally slipped my mind that it was Friday the 13th! Not that I really believed in ghosts and other paranormal creature. (read till that night, that is.)
On my way home, there is the biggest graveyard in the city. I have crossed countless times and when people said things like it was haunted, I just laughed it off! I had been there myself out of sheer curiosity and had never found anything even remotely scary. So I never believed the fact that ghosts of various kinds inhabited that patch.
That night, my scooty just went dead right in front of the gate of that cemetery and 1.30 in the night, the scooty going dead in the middle of the road can be quite annoying specially because there definitely wouldn’t be a mechanic around at that ungodly hour unless I decided to dig up the grave of a dead mechanic and wake him up from his slumber. Had absolutely no intention of doing that. So I started tinkering around with the scooty, aided by my limited knowledge of engines and automobiles. This, needless to say went in vain.
Suddenly I heard a voice. “Hey buddy, need a hand?” said the voice. I was pretty startled by a voice coming out of nowhere. I turned around to discover a really tall gentleman standing behind me. “Err…sir my engine seems to have conked off and I really don’t know where to find a mechanic around” I said…still a little surprised seeing the kind of clothes he was wearing and his general appearance, even besides the height. He wore a red and black cape with a high rise collar, a frilly shirt and pretty tight trousers. Looked like he had either stepped out of a period film or was headed for a theme party. But this was too late for someone to be HEADED to a party. OR Maybe he was going back home and like a good citizen, had stopped by to help. But then, he looked pretty well off and definitely not like a person who couldn’t afford the luxury of a swanky car. So what in the name of sweet Jesus was he doing here at this hour of the night? Didn’t look too old either…maybe 30…not more. Anyway, I had other things to worry about so for the time being I decided to let it be.
He started poking and clanking around the engine and grunting when he came upon a jammed screw or bolt. Meanwhile, I was thirsty and there was no other place with the possibility of finding water so I stepped into the cemetery and looked around if there was a caretaker or anyone else around. There wasn’t a single living human soul around. But then I saw an earthen pot of water and a glass beside it. The water was pretty clean and the thirst was getting to me so I really couldn’t wait for mineral water. Hence I poured some into the glass and drank. The water was surprisingly refreshing. Looked around for a place to sit because I was bored and didn’t want to disturb the stranger in his work so I apologized to a grave and sat on one end of it. A little mist and the rustle of leaves but nothing really unusual so I moved a little further up and leaned against the headstone. Was quite comfy and I almost started to doze off when the same voice scared the hell out of me suddenly!.“I tried repairing it but it didn’t work! You will need a modern mechanic. They make machines so complicated nowadays! I remember, when I bought my car in 1832, I could repair it all by myself! Those automobiles were wonderful. They were simple and as wise people have truly said, beauty is simplicity” he said in an extremely preachy tone. I would have ignored what he said had it not been for the year that he mentioned. Did he just say 1832?!
Then it happened…”Oh and let me introduce myself, I am Vampire Lord Sipper”. My first reaction was to burst out laughing thinking it was a joke. He clearly didn’t like the idea of me taking his serious introduction as something to be laughed at so he promptly changed into a bat, circled around me twice and changed back to his human form again. I was, needless to say, hell shocked. “Now do you believe me?” he asked calmly. Did I now? I wanted to run but it felt like my feet were glued to the ground! So much for not believing in ghosts. “Oh and I think you should get off Wimpy’s grave. He really doesn’t like it and he can be a pretty nasty guy at times”. “Thanks Sipper, for getting this guy’s butt off my face. I owe you one bro!” came the sound from inside the grave.
“You look scared boy! Don’t worry, I wont dig my fangs into you and drink every drop of blood that runs in your veins till you run dry. I have turned vegetarian.BTW are you a vegetarian?!” he said casually with a grin. I hesistantly said “No! non vegetarian Mr Sipper”.”Aah! I never prefered non veggies. Their blood I mean” Sipper said. So much for comfort! “So, lad, tell me your name! It’s been really long since I have spoken to a human and since you two wheeler is not going to be repaired before morning anyway, let’s kill some time talking”. Great! I was sitting there with a vampire and now I was expected to entertain him till sunrise. But I had little choice so I listened to him ramble on. I have to admit, the chap was pretty interesting and had loads of things to talk about. The places he had visited, the people he had converted into vampires, his family, friends etc.
I couldn’t hold my curiosity any longer. “I have a couple of question mister err…what do I call you?” “You can call me Sipy! That’s what my friends call me!”Awesome. Now I had befriended a vampire. I wondered how I managed to achieve such distinguished feats! No point so I moved on with my question.
“So Sipy, tell me something, what’s your blood group? I have always wondered!”“Good and unusual question. All of us vampires have the same blood group. AB+ because when we drink blood, it is not really possible to segregate people based on their blood group. Hence it makes sense to be the universal receiver! See? Simple logic!”Whoa! Even vampires had logic!“And, if you don’t mind telling me…err…why exactly are you a veggie Sipy? I mean…no offence…in fact, I am glad that you have given up your blood thirst. It is indeed a wonderful thing. But I was just curious why”Even as I said this I could hear an adage ring in my ears…CURIOSITY KILLS THE CAT.
Sipy looked hurt for a moment and then smiled “I will tell you. A hundred years ago, when I was in Germany, I had rented a plush apartment in the vampire locality of Berlin and right next door, my neighbors had this beautiful and seductive daughter named Isabelle. I loved her with all my heart. She was one gorgeous woman and made men, both mortals and vampires swoon over her! This liking of mine landed me in a brawl with her boyfriend Edward one day. In that I lost my fangs so I went to Dr. Fixit, the most acclaimed dentist in the vampire community. He told me with a grave face that there was nothing that he could do for my fangs because they had been injured permanently at the roots. And you know, technology wasn’t all that developed back then. He had to perform a root canal on me and trust me, when you’re a vampire, root canals are extremely painful! Isabelle flatly refused to date a vampire sans the fangs because that would make a laughing stock out of her! I didn’t blame her though I was left heartbroken. I left Germany for India. Here, bought a little coffin, a small patch in this cemetery and ijust wanted to live in anonymity for eternity. To satiate my thirst, I tried drinking blood from the blood banks but that cold blood gave me a sore throat and I had to run to Dr. Peter Khopdi who’s in the fourth grave from mine. After a point of time I decided to give up blood in favor of fruit juice. Oh…that reminds me…here…take this…Real orange juice. I am sure you will like it. No preservatives and sugar…just pure juice!”As he said that, he pulled out two one liter bottles from under his cape and handed one to me. Wow! This guy here could actually be the brand ambassador for Real!
“But there is another thing that bothers me…why do you turn into bats of all things? I mean…not a tiger, ostrich, chicken, blue whale, eagle…nothing! Just a bat?!” I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me again.
He grinned. “Look my boy, first of all, it’s easy, free and quick transportation. Second, who on earth doesn’t love to fly?! It is everyone’s fantasy! Plus since we generally live in dark places and anyway can’t allow even a drop of sunlight to touch us, so the sound waves help us find our way around. Otherwise we would have been quite accident prone! And since bats are scary looking creatures, it also adds to the scare value!”
That was an interesting piece of information! He asked me things that made him curious, like why were we humans scared of ghosts and what made us donate something as precious and delicious as blood? I answered to the best of my abilities and before either of us realized, the Sun had begun to rise. He hurriedly took leave and disappeared into his grave. I waited till the human mechanic opened his shop and I got my scooty fixed. I also bought a few flowers and placed it on Sipy’s grave. May the nice chap rest in peace…till sunset. Who knows, maybe somewhere, someday I will bump into him again.

A new defination of..

It's always good to priortise things in life...and even people if you ask me..!That ways you become less susceptible.But what to do wen this backfires..? What if these people dun priortise you in return?!..Prudent or imprudent..they'll end up hurting you in someways.
I am a human,someone who doesn't aim/claim to be morally correct(not always),someone who doesn't believe in utopia of life.So for a while,let me speak for some of you out there..There is nothing as unconditional on this planet..especially love,no form of it.When you love someone, the least you expect,is warmth , some sort of gesture, if nothing more, atleast some sort of recognition or respect for ur Feelings (c'mon even an animal wud want that..it's in our nature..can not deny that..!). Well! that is the case..most of the time.
Has it ever occured to you..that sometimes, the real essence of love lies in not expressing it at all, but in just comprehending the signs .Yeah! the chase that is meant to last till eternity.Or lets take it to extreme..far extreme..ever tried to relate love and animosity...?!Too ironic rite? Ever tried falling for the one you detest the most..?! No..I'm not talking about the way they show it in Bollywood muvies whr the girl first detests the guy and ends up falling for him.I am talking about hatred,pure hatred..for every cell,for every drop of blood..to a degree that makes you want tear that person apart..an urge to destroy that person..completely.!!To kill him so that no one can ever posess him again..coz you are the only one who knows the actual worth..of what he can contribute..of what he can take away and of what he can destroy. B'coz no one but you have the idea of power he posess..How desultory or flighty it may seem..but the experience will be esctatic..larger than life.! the best that one can think of in such a situation..is not to let the two unite..ever..! Coz that wud spell havoc. Explosion you mite expect..the kind of that leads to extinction..explosion...yeah!
Ever witnessed a supernova explosion?..It's beautiful..more beautiful than anything you can witness in your entire lifetime.That marks the end of a life..or a star..and a birth of one as well..(Ironic..I knw..!)..radiates more energy in a fraction of second than the sun can in its entire lifetime.Yupp..!! thats the worth..thats the worth of such people who can posess such extreme emotions and dare to do something about that. Such an explosion leads to extinction..And that is what they deserve..coz of poor ones like you and me.. coz we are not exemplary..! Coz we will antagonise anything that goes against the grain..Pity U..
Cheers
Nivedita

It's all about the Pace..!!

Has there ever been anything that has not been /can not be replaced..? Take a look around you and you you'll have the answer..!How badly u want to make yourself take NO as the Answer. No,Trust me I won't thwart that.It means a great deal to be able to accomodate.An endowment indeed.Infact that's the best that you can do to Dead..or even Living for that matter..like yourself..!( Sorry about the crude manner I decided to quote it in).So..! consider that a talent..something to be appreciated..!But how upheld is that and to what degree??! I may not be the best person to confute..Coz call it prudent or in haste,I too have gone for substitution-be it material or people.
It hurts to know that you were delinquent,but the heart bleeds to realize.And mind it!..there's a difference between knowing and realizing,everybody knew that an apple falls but it was Newton who realized and thus raised the question-why it only falls down and that made all the difference.Hence realization is the first step,but towards death in the context I'm referring to,coz it kills when you are at the receiving end..to realize that it's your turn now,turn to be replaced.But in the end it's all transitory right? You replace people and people replace you..all a fair game.!! but what makes THE difference in here is the pace,the pace at which substitution takes place. The faster the pace,the more worthless you are..! (chill! I didn't have a breakup..!! :p!..just a thought..!)But then again,there's a law in Economics (Yeah!..Economics for engineers taking a toll on me..!),which states that commodities are imperfect substitutes.:-).Rudimentary can not be replace completely or forever.
So here I go again,back to square one.I detest optimistic people,they seem escapist to me.But yeah! it's a nice feeling to state this law to urself once in a while(makes you pity the fools out there who dared to replace you..!) But the truth remains,some of you out there are significant..thus i wish never get substituted...
\m/
Nivedita

Turning back time..!

Welcome to d real world ,she said to me condescendingly..Take a seat,take ur life,plot it out in black and white…Well I never lived the dream of the prom kings and d drama queens..I’d like to think of d best of me..Still hiding up my sleeve..I wanna run thru the halls of my schul..I wanna scram at the top of my lungs..I just found out thr’s no such thing as d real world..Just a lie u’ve got to rise above..!
Well,cudn’t think of a better way to put my feelings into words..that is exactly what past 1.5 year has been for me like..in this so called "real" world. And ppl looked so beautiful tht night...More beautiful thn ever.I very Strongly believe A woman isn’t worth the name unless her hair is flecked with a strand or 2 of silver.A man is but a callow youth unless u can really c his foread..I mean unless u can actually distinguish it frm d rest of d face.!And the round ones there-they looked so cute in tht shapeless shape..!For those who have no clue what I'm talking about,It's my school reunion.It wasn’t long back wen I left the bulding. It wasn long back wen I kept my uniform in some corner of my cupboard to lie thr safe.. forever,But It was almost 15 years back..wen I crossed that threshold for d first time.And between tht first and last time..Thr was a lifetime.Moments that are bound to last till eternity..memories tht I’ll carry with my to my grave.There were so many out there tht night who are still amongst my closest ones,ppl I still see often but never often enough.Values tht now I hold so dear..and the most intimate,precious and lasting friendships of my life.May I confess how I prepared for it..??!I pulled down all the school magazines from top shelf and just flipped thru d pages.A test for me indeed..To see how many instances cud I recall.And did I flunk?...Partially yes..!
But gradually trickle of memories became a river,immersing me in a flood of recollections..all pleasnt ones..time has mercifully erased any unpleasant one..It was like retuning to the womb..!!To ur almamater.
Those were the days,we were all beautiful,all wonderful, but we weren't real! No one was real,this world wasn't real!Too easy it was,too uncomplicated.Hell lot of issues out there but we never needed to care about them.There must have been poverty too but we were too busy in hiding that hole in our show to see through it.Ofcourse there was violence too but we were busy cheering for our basketball team..lol. Man! time flies and how..!Now when I'm a part of this "real" world(not completely yet!) it seems to be a bit of a nasty place at times.At one point of time,those 14 years seemed like a sentence for a crime I never got the chance to commit.;-) and now how badly I want to be a prisoner again..! sigh! At times I still crave for those 30 mins. of recess,for teacher to leave the class (so that we get to hit each other with chalk),to sit on those rusted benches in that discoloured classroom..:-(
Got to live my ultimate fantacy on the night of reunion.Turning to people 10 yrs older to me and sharing my experiences with them is something I'll always cherish.Some of them were shocked out of their wits as I was just a toddler(well..almost..!) when they left the school and every instance related to them was just so crystal clear in my mind.Aah..! people who always inspired me and even now never fail to do that.Little eyes that used to stare at them from some part of the playground,the mind and the heart that always aspired to be like them..is one of them now.Though haven't achieved much in my life as of now but some corner of my heart still wishes.. I manage to do to others, some of what they managed to do to me. :-)Heaven!So many pleasant memories and all flooding back to me. Someone was right! We leterary people are(in a way ) emotional fools.We strive on memories, our all time favourite drug.At d end of it, that is all we got when there is nothing to hold on to..!
Cheers..!
Nivedita

MisUnderstOod...!!

Me and my friends we're all misunderstood..and it's hard to change everyone's mindset..So We keep on waiting..waiting for the world to change.There's this math's teacher of ours who thinks of me and one of my friend to be I dunno what. Man..! My blood was on literal boil when i got to know that she was asking Laddu after result of tht sem was out, if two of her loafer friends (tht happens to be me n Anshika) even passed in the semester examination.I mean WTF..We happen to be bloody 8 pointers,and what she thought us to be ( Man!..Shud have seen her face after knowing our pointers..!)
and even Shweta , Anshika (the nail eating machine..lolzz) and Laddu for tht matter (Laddu and her Bandit Queen image..Does she enjoy it?!)

Well,I wasn't trying to yarn a tale in here..Was trying to make a point rather..
Why are people so judgemental? Why Do I need To have an opinion about a person after meeting/seeing him/her for the first time? Why do we ought to see every person in d shades of black or white?! Forget it!..It gets on my nerves at times..hearing people say "she/he doesn't seem to be a nice person" .C'mon it sometimes takes an entire lifetime or even eternity for that matter to know a person, n how some of "Geniuses" around us are ready with an opinion about a person in a fraction of second.
Or May be,We being youngsters are misunderstood..or may be it's just "me"(like everyother me) who thinks herself to be misunderstood.
And that's why I keep on saying-"I wish there were fewer humans around Us,life would have been so much better!"..and My Friends go on and laugh their heads off..!( something that I fail to understand :( ! )